By Keza Melissa
When I was young I thought life was kind and just to everyone but I realised
How hard it is to sustain,
How hard it is to fight for your dreams,
How hard it is to work for your surviving,
How hard it is to know who you are and accept your self.
I always thought that the punishments I received as child were tough and that old people are much more happier than the children but my prediction was wrong life becomes cruel every day.
The world we live in no longer cares how to follow the heart they ignore it to follow their mind,anger…people kill each other for money…i…i never thought money could replace someone who love you, coz I believe that love is wealth and treatment for all, when we love and loved back we have this inner peace and happiness that supermarkets don’t sell.
Now I see my expectations being the opposite, I keep my head up but deep inside I know its not working, I keep fighting for my dreams but I know I’m falling far, far away till I found myself in the middle of nowhere surrounded by dark clouds I’m trying to run before it rains but I see no help no strength and most importantly no reason to do so.
There is a strong, huge monster frighting me, circling my limits, tightening my weapons, clearing my way out, determined to lock me up until forever becomes forever.
Oh I know, I know,
I’ve tried but I failed,
I shouted but never had heard,
I went and never called back,
I loved but never responded.
All I did was to widely open my heart I let my feelings and expectations fly high i was blind to see and naive to know that I opened the door for knifes and traps, I screamed, cried and hoped but the season is still the same.
As I fall I feel a profound colossal awful pain in my heart wondering why me, why this too many whys and whys in me.
I feel so gloomy and less valued I keep holding on but I know I’m drowning in a mixed horrible feeling.
I see myself as unknown,
I see my light dwindling swiftly,
I see my dreams and hopes buried,
I see my hands shaking continuously,
Heavy rain and thunder are my caresser.
I’m scared that this will be my forever but I have no reason than to keep listening sharp killing words notes as my music when my heart keep dropping as it bleeds.
Escaping is a forgotten word to me,
Coz my world is full of dark clouds and it rains endlessly I have no shelter no haven only a wish…just a wish.
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