HOME IS NOT HOME WITHOUT YOU
By Sharon Amanda Muvara
I think that ever since I started writing, ‘home’ has been one of the words I have used quite a lot. It has been the meaning behind so many of my thoughts and probably the drive behind them as well. Why would a word keep coming back in the things that flow out my heart? Why ‘home’ of all words existing in the English language? And why is my heart interested in it? Those are the questions I asked myself after this sudden realization, questions I would love to have answers for too.
Home is where our heart is. Home represents safety. Home represents peace. Home is where most of our joy is found, because there’s no thriving there. Home has enough room for us to grow and home will never kick you out. Home is where we go to rest. Home is where we are seen just exactly as we are. Home will allow you to just be, home will love you when you least deserve it. Home is where silence is not fought; Home is where you never have to wake up wondering if you still matter. Home is the hands that hold you when you mean nothing to the whole world and the smile in the crowd when you have made it. Home will never let you walk alone.
It is not a secret that I have spent most of my time on this earth looking for a home. A home that’s deeper than just my family and house. I have searched for a home in every area of my life, in my career, my passions, in every kind of relationship I have around me, and also spiritually. For so long my heart has been after something, something I thought that if I got I would be totally fulfilled. But the journey has been long and it looks like everything keeps leading to another, and I never seem to reach home.
A brilliant friend of mine once told me that from our very first cry, we are always working hard to go back to the way it was at the beginning. We are always working in one way or another towards going back home where we belong. Our hearts never stop feeling the void that leaving our safety net, our mother’s womb left us. For that reason, I have come to understand myself why this world is not indeed our home, because it doesn’t matter what we have or where we get, our heart will always look for its home and as cliché as this sounds, heaven will always be our ultimate home.
We are travelers just passing through this world, and the wise ones have already caught this secret and started acting accordingly. We have a home and I know very well that it is not only my heart that has longed for it. However, that also means we are not here for long. I hope that instead of finding a home in this world, you will find the reason why it was important for you to leave home in the first place. What did father trust you to accomplish? What did He hope you would say at the finish line? Did you forget there was a reason why He had to send you exactly at this time? Did you get to meet the people whose cries hurt Him so bad that He had to create you? Did you find the people His heart beats for? And did you tell them He loves them? I hope you did. I hope you will. And that when your time is here to go back home you will not enter the gates of heaven alone. I hope you bring so many with you because home is not home without you or them.